Sometimes, you just want a sign you're doing good and that you should keep going. Sometimes, you don't care what anybody thinks 'cause you realize you wouldn't want to do anything else with your life anyway. I can honestly say, if you want to be in the entertainment business, you have to able to stomach the emotional rollercoaster you'll surely be on.
This week, once again, haven't been too eventful. My friend told me that his aunt broke down and cried when she heard "This Is Not Farewell". I should tell you a little something about how I wrote and produced that song. I had finished 9 tracks for my album, Dreamgirl's Heart. My plan was to make only a 10-track album. So I needed one more song. I wanted that song to have dual meanings. I wanted to first have it be about the lover having to leave the dream girl in her dream world while he goes back to the real world, but saying "this is not farewell". I wanted to also leave my listeners with a "this is not farewell" to let them know I'm coming back with more.
I had a chord progression I had already been playing with, so I found the sound I wanted and recorded it. Then I wrote the chorus "This Is Not Farewell". That's all I had! At the time, I had a day job at a car dealership aside from running my marketing business (I took a day job so I could hire more people for my business to grow it). So while I was at the dealership, a pretty blue bird flew into the glass window. As it lied there struggling, a few of us was trying to figure out how to help this bird. As we were getting a box and trying to help the bird, it struggled as it took its last breath. It was a pretty sad scene.
I went home that day with that emotion about death. So I thought about people I loved that passed away and what I would've liked to say to them. Particularly my grandmom. You see, my grandmom visited us from France when I was about 14 years old. At the time, I was dealing drugs so I stole some money from her to get some drugs to sell. She found out and was really disappointed. I felt bad. After my life got turned around from going to church at the age of 15, I promised myself I would work and send the money back to my grandmom and make a real good apology out of it. Well, she passed away before I could do that. It was one of the biggest heartbreaks of my life.
So I sat there in front of my computer, needing to finish this track. I started writing. Only this time, with a different twist - an added meaning to the song. I wrote the first verse...
I know it's time to leave now
I don't wanna leave you
What if I forget your smile
...I broke down crying. It was just that. I realized what I just capsulated in words. And, I missed my grandmom. We don't like goodbyes, especially in death...because we fear we'll forget the one we're losing...never seeing in person their smile, never smelling them, never feeling their touch again. In heartbreak, we hope...one day...we'll see them again. I understood why my friend's aunt cried. That song was packed with emotion when I created it. And I can honestly say that behind every single song I write and produce is a real emotion. They're incredibly meaningful to me...every single one.
Anyway, back to business...I'll be consulting with a professional artist manager next week from A&R Select. I hope something great will come out of that conversation. I'm always a little leary about companies offering services to indie artists because many out there are scams. But, after talking with her a little bit, I think it's safe and that it will be beneficial. Let's see what comes of it. See you for Week 9!
Best,
Minh